● Breaking
Loading...
Vol. I, No. 1
Not News
Things that didn't happen, probably
by ideagames.fun
Est. 2026
The iPhone 17 RTA, photographed before assembly
Technology
Apple Introduces the iPhone 17 RTA at WWDC. Ships Flat. Assembly Required. Tim Cook Says It "Puts the User at the Centre of the Experience."
The phone comes in five pieces and a small illustrated guide. The guide does not show which way the screen faces. This is described as intentional.
Ideaguy ■ 4 min read
An empty restaurant table
Culture
UNESCO Declares the Act of Going to a Restaurant With Other People an Endangered Cultural Practice. Delivery Apps Named as a Contributing Factor.
The organisation’s emergency session, convened in Paris, heard testimony from fourteen nations. The Italians left to get lunch during the deliberations and have not been formally reprimanded.
Ideaguy ■ 4 min read
Economy washroom on a commercial flight
World
American Airlines Announces Washroom Allocation Policy. Economy Passengers Limited to Two Visits Per Flight. Business Class Described as "As Always."
The carrier says the policy "optimises the onboard experience for all passengers." Economy passengers are approximately one-third of the onboard experience being referenced.
Ideaguy ■ 3 min read
Equinox gym performance pricing rollout
Health
Equinox Introduces "Performance-Based Membership Pricing." The More You Lift, the More You Pay.
The luxury gym chain says the new model "more accurately reflects the value each member extracts from the facility." Members who use the free weights section during peak hours have been asked to sit down.
Ideaguy ■ 4 min read
Microsoft Excel spreadsheet
Business
Microsoft Launches New Excel Pricing at $0.0008 Per Cell. Power Users Are Running the Numbers.
The new consumption-based pricing tier, announced quietly in a blog post published at 11:47pm on a Friday, charges users per cell accessed rather than a flat monthly fee. Microsoft says it is "more affordable" for most users. Most users are not sure.
Ideaguy ■ 4 min read
LinkedIn OpenToWork necklace
Lifestyle
LinkedIn Introduces the #OpenToWork Necklace. HR Professionals Call It "a Conversation Starter."
The green crescent-shaped pendant, worn around the neck on a standard silver chain, signals to everyone in your immediate physical vicinity that you are open to work — whether they asked or not.
Ideaguy ■ 3 min read
Listerine Healthy Hookah
Health
9 Out of 10 Dentists Now Recommend the Listerine Hookah for "Complete Oral Coverage"
The Healthy Hookah — a standard hookah pipe fitted directly to a bottle of Listerine Cool Mint — has cleared an internal review and is being positioned as the first mouthwash delivery system designed for the wellness-conscious adult who simply cannot be bothered to swish.
Ideaguy ■ 3 min read
The Apple iPan in Space Orange
Technology
Apple Announces the iPan, Starting at $899. The Cable Is Sold Separately.
Apple’s first entry into cookware promises seamless integration with your existing Apple ecosystem. The non-stick surface requires a software update to activate. There is no headphone jack.
Ideaguy ■ 4 min read
Lay's x NVIDIA Neural Crunch Chips
Technology
Lay’s and NVIDIA Announce Neural Crunch Chips, the World’s First AI-Accelerated Snack
The collaboration promises “unprecedented flavor computation” and a chip that gets crunchier the more you think about it. Pre-orders open now. The waitlist is 847,000 people long.
Ideaguy ■ 3 min read